Added: Vincent Galle - Date: 07.12.2021 00:42 - Views: 22184 - Clicks: 5042
Nothing good can come of this. Throughout human history, oceans have been crossed, mountains have been scaled, and great families have blossomed — all because of a few simple chords and a melody that inflamed a heart and propelled it on a noble, romantic mission. On the other hand, that time you told that girl you just started seeing that you would " catch a grenade " for her? You did that because of a love song.
And it wasn't exactly a coincidence that she suddenly decided to "lose your " and move back to Milwaukee to "figure some stuff out. You know? And L. And yeah, my mom. That time you held that boom box over your head outside your ex's house? And 50 hours of community service later, you're still not back together.
Love songs are great. They make our hearts beat faster. They inspire us to take risks and put our feelings on the line. And they give us terrible, terrible ideas about how actual, real-life human relationships should work. Here are six love songs that sound romantic but aren't, and You were always going to be my love song that doesn't sound romantic but totally is:. A lush garden of soft horns and breezy melody. A tie-dye swirl of sound. A landscape of haunted innocence with some of the most heartrending lyrics ever committed to the back of a surfboard. If you're traipsing through a meadow in a sundress with your beloved and not playing "God Only Knows" on your iPod, you should really stop and start over.
If you're lazily bumping a beach ball over a volleyball net and "God Only Knows" isn't playing somewhere in the back of your mind, you need to rethink the choices that got you to this point. If you're a video editor compiling footage of grainy hippies frolicking in the mud and you're not underscoring it with the opening chords of "God Only Knows," you are doing it wrong. Hippies, likely on their way to a mud frolic. It's a song that just feels like love. Pure love. Young love. Love with a chill, kelp-y vibe.
There's nothing wrong with loving someone. Sending them flowers. Leaving over-the-top notes in their P. Stroking their hair as they fall asleep while you whisper the complete works of Nicholas Sparks into their ear. There's a huge difference between saying: "Hey babe, you are my first and foremost everything and I'll be bummed if you go. That's not love. That's codependency to put it mildly. Oh, and hey! Threatening to kill yourself if your partner leaves isn't loving. It's a form of emotional abuse. Investing all your happiness and sense of self-worth in any relationship — one that, by definition, might one day end — is putting a lot of eggs in one basket.
Sure, God may only know what you'd be without her, but God probably also hopes you have, I don't know, some hobbies.
Take a yoga class. Google some woodworking videos. Try kite surfing. Hell yeah! What was her name again? One person cannot be anyone's be-all and end-all. It's too stressful. And it prevents you from doing you, which is a thing that's gotta be done before you can do anything else. Sure, it's a blatant rip off of every Michael Jackson song you've ever heard.
But, we don't have Michael Jackson anymore, and as tribute acts go, you could do a lot worse than Bruno Mars. Look at that face. That face! Pass those lyrics to anyone on a used napkin at an eighth-grade make-out party and you'll likely get an instant toll pass on the highway to tongue-town ew. Pass them to your spouse and, chances are, date night is going to culminate in 47 minutes of chaste-yet-passionate frenching. Pass them to a cop who pulls you over for running a stopand they will think you're weird — but probably still make out with you.
In fact, Bruno Mars basically has a lifetime pass to make out with America because of this song. This is what happens when you write "Treasure" and you're on stage with Michelle Obama. Ah yes. Nothing screams "respect" quite like a man lecturing a strange woman on the street about something she "doesn't know about herself. What could it be? Could it be that her jokes are funny? Could it be that she's got something in her teeth? Could it be that her nonfiction book about early modern German history is extremely detailed and informative? Word of advice? Regardless of how she's walking, the lady knows she's sexy.
Even if she doesn't, it really doesn't affect her day-to-day so much that you, a complete stranger, need to shout it at her even over a funky disco snare. So what if she does want to be someone else? I'd love to be someone else! I think being Ryan Gosling would be quite nice.
A good way to spend a three-day weekend. Sure, there'd be an adjustment period Photo by Eamonn M. He respects her so much, he's actually straight-up telling her to smile! Much like Mars' character "Uptown Funk ," who appears to get off on angrily exhorting girls to "hit [their] hallelujah. Yes, in the world of "Treasure," a healthy relationship is an unending stream of a man complimenting a strange woman and said woman being so totally flattered that she immediately dispenses "the sex. For as long as humans have been dating each other, humans have been breaking up with each other.
And "Don't Think Twice" is a portrait of a relationship going down in flames. Glorious, poetic, acoustic flames. Bob Dylan, a guy who is good at writing songs that a lot of people like. An honest song. A powerful song. It's the song your older sister played on continuous loop for six months after her boyfriend left for college. The song that convinced your Aunt Roslyn to leave her bank-teller job, load her four Australian shepherds into the van, and open a wind chime store in Mendocino. The song your friend's cool dad always wants to play when he invited your high school band over to his apartment to jam.
Sure, it's about the end of a relationship, but it sounds romantic. And at the end of the day, shouldn't that be enough? Relationships end. For a lot of reasons. And while there is no right way to call it quits with someone, when the dust settles, both parties can certainly benefit from a difficult, honest discussion about what went wrong.
It's not me, Joan. It's you.
Ugh, women, right? You're all like, "Babe, I just have so much unspecified love to give," and she's like, "Take out the trash! I already did the laundry, cleaned the whole house, fed the dog, did the dishes, and made both of our lunches for the week. All I need you to do is take out the trash. I'm gonna go play guitar. What did you do? Why is she trying to change you?
Your time is so precious! Think about all the hours you wasted plumbing the ocean-deep, ecstatic mysteries of human partnership when you could have been futzing around with that home-brew kit. Yes, this was worth it. The minute you start breaking it down, the message of "Don't Think Twice" suddenly starts to seem a lot less romantic.
Like your sister's ex-boyfriend, who worked at the Bass Pro Shop in town for a while and now might be in jail.
Like your aunt's wind chime store, which would have closed forever ago had she not received that inheritance from her mom in the '80s. Like your friend's cool dad, who wasn't exactly, technicallypaying child support. That's right. In addition to being a run-of-the-mill passive-aggressive jerk — turns out, he's also possibly a pedophile. Even if we are to accept that this is a metaphor and she's not actually — which there's no indication it is, but OK, Bob Dylan — the fact that Commitmentphobe Gunderson here would willingly choose an immature partner reflects way more poorly on him than it does on her.
Breaking up with anyone in such a cruel, dismissive way is a recipe for sticking them with years of therapy bills. Who has two thumbs and wrote a bittersweet folk song about hurtling through the stratosphere in a giant aluminum tube at miles per hour? This guy. And impressive in its loveliness because jet planes were still kind of new at the time it was written. To a modern ear, this would be sort of like singing, "I'm a scoooting away on my hoverboooooard," but in a way that's somehow still folksy and heartbreaking and singable by 9-year-olds at summer camp.
Not easy to do!
You see — he hates to go! He just hates it! We know this, because he tells us he hates it. And why would he hate to go if he didn't love his partner just that much?
See ya! All the plaintive guitar, loping bass line, and twangy, melancholy warbling in the world can only distract so much from the fact that the song's main character is well, kind of a jerkweed. And in reality — surprise surprise! All the movies I watched alone while you were home nursing the quadruplets. All the times I drained our life savings on Zoo Zillionaire.
All the random sex I had with other women. Totally meaningless. Certainly fun to do! Really fun.You were always going to be my love
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